For months I couldn’t understand it when women in the late stages of pregnancy would sigh and puff and say they couldn’t wait to not be pregnant any more. “What’s not to love?” I would wonder, skipping lightly about feeling very much in love with my portable and petite bump. “This is the most magical time of my life!”.
Now? Eh…. Look Bean, I’m not saying it’s not magical to have you inside my belly, with your cute pokey feet and your pelvis-drilling skull. And I still think that tired old refrain “I just want this baby out”, which you hear many a pregnut uttering, is a bit harsh. It’s a baby after all, not a bag of rubbish that keeps getting forgotten by the back door.
But apparently you’ve been fully cooked for nearly two weeks now (it’s rather unfair that women are told that 37 weeks is full term, in my view. I’ve been on tenterhooks for a week and 5 days. Much better to tell us to expect the baby at, say, 41 weeks- then anything sooner is a nice surprise). So any time you feel like making an appearance, that’s just fine with us. Can you hear Daddy honking “come out come out come out!” at my belly on a thrice-daily basis? He means it. Come out, do! We’re ready.
Your clothes are washed and folded- and I promise you, between generous family and friends you have quite the snazzy wardrobe, worth making an appearance for (including a fake fur gilet- a baby gilet!- from Auntie A, which we’re you’re going to love). Granny has sewed a fancy frill for your moses basket; Great-Granny has knitted a beautiful shawl. Mummy has had her hair cut and is shaving her legs regularly, so as not to embarass you post-partum.
Everybody is so looking forward to meeting you . Even Mummy’s ten-year-old cousin asked plaintively in the background of a phone call today “is the baby here yet?”. And if ten-year-old boys care about you bring born, Bean, you must be important.
You’ve been in utero for 38 weeks and 5 days. It may be nice and comfy in there, my Bean, but believe me, there is so much waiting for you out here. If you’re not ready, don’t rush- you’ve got a couple of weeks to play with. But it’s going to be fun when you’re out, I promise. Just sayin’.