Room 101: The Vaguely Work-Related Edition

I’m feeling particularly snippy this evening, as a result of having to work, all day long! Can you believe it? Also, it’s a whole hour until my Street Dance class, which is near my office, so I have to stay here and do further work- for there is only so long reading blogs can sustain me.

So, in extremely sour and grouchy style, I present my  top five Room 101 items, limited to that which I can sort of relate to my noble profression.  If I listed all my pet peeves in all spheres of life, I’d miss the start of Street Dance (do you see how I use capitals, as if it’s a special holiday, or a person? I’m not sure if this is gramatically correct), so it’s been necessary to focus on the work-related:

1. People who do their make-up in the loo.  This is selfish. I can’t bear going to the loo at work when someone else is in there. It’s bad enough having someone hear you, well, tinkle. But at least under normal circumstances the person in the next cubicle is in an equally embarassing predicament. But when your fellow WC occupant is applying touche eclat in a leisurely fashion beyond the chipboard divide, it makes for an especially upsetting visit.

2. Superfluous words (says she! Ha!). In an ideas meeting, if you have an idea to contribute, please just say the idea. Please do not preface it with “I heard a thing on Five Live, and it’s probably not really the kind of story we’d cover, and it doesn’t have a credit crunch angle, or even any animals, but anyway here it is- and it’s sort of, just to go off on a tangent for a moment, a bit like something we discussed last week….” etc etc.

3. Yourselves, myself, himself… “Please send the information to myself, so we can organise a meeting between yourselves and themselves”. Revealing your lack of intelligence by aping intelligence…  there is very little more unfortunate. Or maybe I’m just an enormous snob.

4. Deliberately banal adverts (this is where the work theme becomes tenuous. But, eh… they are on telly, so…). Toothpaste advertisements which are filmed with a deliberately out of focus, overly-edited style; cereal commercials with a contrived wobble on the camera . When adverts are emulating bad TV, on purpose, in order to make us believe that these are real people captured forever perhaps for a cheap cable TV “REAL STORIES REAL SHOCK REAL TWO-HEADED BABIES” series, it makes me want to hide under the duvet until production values have restored themselves and people have grown brains once more.

5. Press officers. Through the trapdoor with you, obstructive guardians of information all! Obsequious one minute, snooty the next, threatening the next and even more manipulative than the journalists you seek to trip up, I am tired of your sneaky ways.

Yours curmudgeonly,



6 Responses to “Room 101: The Vaguely Work-Related Edition”

  1. 1 R.G. Ryan November 12, 2008 at 7:33 am

    Not curmudgeonly at all. Pretty good sense, if you ask me. Of course being a Statey I wouldn’t know anything about Loos, WC’s or any other British public convenience. That said, how about the moron cellphone loud-talker who is, apparently, completely unaware that anyone else could possibly be within earshot and sits on the pot in the next stall doing his, uh, business while holding forth with someone on the other end of the line. An offense worthy of death at the very least! Now you got me going…

  2. 2 bokker November 12, 2008 at 9:04 am

    Ew. People do that?

  3. 3 pei November 14, 2008 at 9:36 am

    1. Yes! There’s a woman at work who’s always doing her make up in the ladies’ as I arrive for a pre-work “visit” and it annoys the hell out of me. Not least because it makes no difference to her appearance. One can’t polish a turd.

    2. and 3. Couldn’t agree more

    4. I hate those adverts. Especially the names they choose for these so-called “real people” which you can tell were dreamt up in some nobby advertising boardroom. PLUS if you want us to believe that the person in the advert is an actual civilian, why use actors who’ve been in other things, like the woman in the Sainsbury’s advert who was also in Linda Green.

    5. I guess this is quite specific to you. But it sounds annoying.

    There isn’t enough time in the world to create a list of my pet hates, but perhaps I’ll start thinking about putting them in order.


  4. 4 bokker November 18, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    Yes! We can go through our Top 100 (or even Top 101) at the weekend!

  5. 5 Thursday November 18, 2008 at 9:25 pm

    Blog, for pity’s sakes, blog! I miss you!

  6. 6 gorillabuns November 19, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    This list makes me glad I don’t go to an office anymore.

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