I’m feeling particularly snippy this evening, as a result of having to work, all day long! Can you believe it? Also, it’s a whole hour until my Street Dance class, which is near my office, so I have to stay here and do further work- for there is only so long reading blogs can sustain me.
So, in extremely sour and grouchy style, I present my top five Room 101 items, limited to that which I can sort of relate to my noble profression. If I listed all my pet peeves in all spheres of life, I’d miss the start of Street Dance (do you see how I use capitals, as if it’s a special holiday, or a person? I’m not sure if this is gramatically correct), so it’s been necessary to focus on the work-related:
1. People who do their make-up in the loo. This is selfish. I can’t bear going to the loo at work when someone else is in there. It’s bad enough having someone hear you, well, tinkle. But at least under normal circumstances the person in the next cubicle is in an equally embarassing predicament. But when your fellow WC occupant is applying touche eclat in a leisurely fashion beyond the chipboard divide, it makes for an especially upsetting visit.
2. Superfluous words (says she! Ha!). In an ideas meeting, if you have an idea to contribute, please just say the idea. Please do not preface it with “I heard a thing on Five Live, and it’s probably not really the kind of story we’d cover, and it doesn’t have a credit crunch angle, or even any animals, but anyway here it is- and it’s sort of, just to go off on a tangent for a moment, a bit like something we discussed last week….” etc etc.
3. Yourselves, myself, himself… “Please send the information to myself, so we can organise a meeting between yourselves and themselves”. Revealing your lack of intelligence by aping intelligence… there is very little more unfortunate. Or maybe I’m just an enormous snob.
4. Deliberately banal adverts (this is where the work theme becomes tenuous. But, eh… they are on telly, so…). Toothpaste advertisements which are filmed with a deliberately out of focus, overly-edited style; cereal commercials with a contrived wobble on the camera . When adverts are emulating bad TV, on purpose, in order to make us believe that these are real people captured forever perhaps for a cheap cable TV “REAL STORIES REAL SHOCK REAL TWO-HEADED BABIES” series, it makes me want to hide under the duvet until production values have restored themselves and people have grown brains once more.
5. Press officers. Through the trapdoor with you, obstructive guardians of information all! Obsequious one minute, snooty the next, threatening the next and even more manipulative than the journalists you seek to trip up, I am tired of your sneaky ways.